Marriage

Happy Anniversary to my husband on June 9!  We have celebrated thirty-five years together.  I would like to share my personal experience about the gift of marriage that includes both difficulties and beautiful rewards.

Marriage is the sacred union between a man and woman.  It is a covenantal gift from God. Marriage is a journey filled with love, companionship, and challenges that can shape and transform us in profound ways.  It is a partnership built on trust and respect, where two souls unite to face life’s challenges together. This is why I believe in “soul mates.” The love and support shared between a husband and wife can provide solace, strength, and encouragement during difficult times. As someone who has experienced the joys and struggles of marriage, I can say confidently that it is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  It is truly the earthly gift that I am most thankful for.

While marriage brings immense joy and fulfillment, it is also one of the most challenging relationships we will ever experience. Living in close proximity with another person inevitably leads to moments of disagreement, misunderstandings, and conflicts. The merging of two unique individuals with their own set of strengths, weaknesses, and personalities requires patience, compromise, and understanding.  I know this all too well.  

My first marriage ended after a short four years.   I understand the feeling of failure that can accompany the end of a marriage.  It is still to this day something I consider to be a huge failure in my life.  Even though I experienced abandonment, I also made choices as a young 24-year old on how to handle the hurt and confusion. I’m not proud of those choices and would do things very differently today. I would definitely seek God more and man (woman) less on how to move forward.  However, I know that it is not the number of marriages that defines me.  I’m a child of God, and He declares me righteous! Many, many years later, I am still choosing to continue to learn, grow, and work through the difficult emotions and realities of divorce.  

When faced with adversity in a marriage, the decision to stay and work through the challenges can be a daunting one. The Bible does give us a “way-out” for an acceptable divorce.  But it also says that God hates divorce.  Oh, I so agree. I do too!  But, I do believe there are rare circumstances that divorce is the right choice.   

Marriage requires humility, forgiveness, and a genuine desire to understand and empathize with one another. When both individuals are willing to invest time, effort, and emotional energy into their relationship, they can emerge stronger and more united.  I know this to be true!  I have experienced it over and over in my marriage of 33 years.  

Working through the hard times in my marriage to Marty has been an invaluable experience. It has taught me the importance of effective communication, forgiveness, compromise, and mutual respect. We have learned to embrace our differences, to appreciate each other’s unique qualities, and to support one another’s dreams and aspirations.  Let’s be truthful.  In the moment of conflict this is super hard.  But, fortunately/unfortunately, enough years together will give you enough hard times to practice.  And, you absolutely have to be determined to not walk away.  You have to stay and fight for your marriage.  I’m so glad we did and continue to do so.  

One of the most rewarding aspects of my marriage is the opportunity to share the love and joy of our grandchildren, together. Witnessing our love and values passed down through the generations is a priceless gift. Our grandchildren provide us with a tangible reminder of the legacy we are creating as a couple, and they strengthen the bond we share with one another. Ultimately, the rewards of a fulfilling and enduring marriage are immeasurable, particularly when experienced alongside the love and joy of our children and grandchildren.  

Brittne, Josh, Cooper, Collins, Kevin, Liz, Bodhi, Arizona, and Desi- we continue to fight for YOU!  We work hard to have a marriage that is God-centered, God-honoring and so full of love that we have plenty to spill over to each of you.  Thank you for giving us a visual picture of the amazing rewards of family!  We love you so much! 

Marty, I love you!  You are the best gift I have ever received here on earth. Cheers to another 33 years!